THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: 100% Prescribed with Side Effects The miracle cure that makes cardiologists weep with joy, lobbyists foam with greed, and TikTok influencers suddenly experts in endocrinology. By: Dr. Kale Smoothie, Chief Medical Satirist of WTF Health Affairs  & Nurse Practitioner MemeLord, Director of Prescription-Based Punchlines 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it—or your doctor prescribes semaglutide with fries. Once upon a clogged artery, medical researchers stumbled onto the blockbuster plot twist of 2025: the drugs originally designed to make people lose weight so they could fit into jeans now also cut the risk of dying from heart failure. Yes, the very same “Hollywood injections” mocked as “Ozempic for Instagram aunties” are suddenly the life-saving miracle every cardiologist wished statins could have been. At the...

  🗞 ️  THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: "I Can't Believe I'm Still a Citizen" | Trust Factor: "As Reliable as a Trump University Diploma" When "Making America Great Again" Meant Making America Look Suspiciously Like Putin's Living Room With Better Fast Food Options By: Vlad the Impaler (Chief Vibes Officer, WTF Global Times) & Snooki's Ghost (Senior Karma Correspondent) 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it… (They did. About Trump's hair. Again. And this time they included a poorly rendered GIF of Melania holding a MAGA-branded golden toilet seat.) The Great American Autocracy Bake-Off: When "Freedom Fries" Became "Fear Fries" Picture this: It's 2025. You wake up, reach for your phone, and instead of checking the weather, you check whether your ZIP code has been design...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: 100% Trade Tantrum When Uncle Sam slaps 50% tariffs, chai spills, IT nerds cry, and Modi quietly Googles “How to retaliate without wrecking GDP.” By: Guruji Globalnomic Shenanigans, Senior Economist of WTF Macroeconomic Mayhem  & Ms. Masala McSpreadsheet, Professor of Trade Trauma and Curry-Adjusted Tariff Analytics 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it… or unless Trump actually levies tariffs on yoga mats, in which case, all bets are off. Let’s be honest: only in 2025 could the world’s largest democracy find itself bullied by America over… buying cheap Russian oil. Yes, you heard that right. Uncle Sam didn’t mind when Europe kept sipping Putin’s gas cappuccino, but when India bought a discounted barrel, suddenly Donald Trump’s White House decided to play Customs Duty: The Reckoning . The result? A 25% tarif...

  🗞 ️  THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: "I Need to Lie Down After Reading This" | Trust Factor: "As Reliable as a Wi-Fi Signal in Noah's Ark" When a Bible Debate About Foreskins, Floods & Failed Evolutionary Design Went Viral and Broke the Internet's Collective Faith  (And Made Trump Declare War on Noah) ... and Also Melania's Prayer App... ...When a Facebook Commenter Asked "Is God a Monster?" and Accidentally Triggered a Theological Tsunami That Even the Oval Office Couldn't Weather... While Ayatollahs Tweeted "WTF" and Mormons Secretly Redesigned the Ark By: The Reverend Al Sharpton's Doppelgänger (Senior Pastor of Hot Takes),    Bishop Rickrolling (Chief Theology Troll) & Reverend Shady McShaderson (Senior Pastor of Hot Takes)  & Sister Mary Clarence (Chief Exorcist of Viral Content) 👁 ️‍ 🗨 ️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as prof...