THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES

🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: 100% Reflection (But this one's got more brain than banter) How to Outsmart Your Brain Before It Sabotages Your Sanity By: Dr. Preposterous Von Freudstein, Emotional Intelligence Correspondent, Licensed Meme Therapist & Overthinker-in-Chief 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky — not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it or your therapist starts charging per thought. BREAKING: Your Brain Is Gaslighting You Yes, you heard it here first. Turns out the drama queen inside your skull has been pulling emotional stunts for years, and you’ve been falling for it like it’s a soap opera on auto-loop. But fear not, emotionally exhausted earthlings — science has a weapon. It’s not lavender oil or shouting into a void. It’s called the ABCDE method , and no, it’s not a forgotten Sesame Street episode. It’s a brain hack disguised as alphabet soup. ABCDE: The Alphabet Soup That ...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES Where every ancient myth has a grain of truth, every historian has an agenda—and we still laugh at it. News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Divine Detective 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs retweet the Resurrection—then all bets are off! Ancient gossip, Roman scribes & theological mic-drops—uncovering the historical Jesus behind the legend. By: Archibald Scoffers & Seraphina Pranksworth Jesus Beyond the Bible Alright folks, let’s do some holy sleuthing. The question on every skeptic’s lips: Was Jesus of Nazareth just another wandering storyteller, or did he exist at all? Most anti-biblical memes claim, “there’s no mention of Him outside the Bible.” Pure hooey. The academic consensus is loud and clear: Jesus walked, preached, and got crucified—so it seems. CRIMINAL CHRONICLERS: ROMAN AND JEWISH Tacitus (c. 56–120 CE): This no-nonsense Roman historian ch...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Diagnosed by a Glove Wearing AI,  Neurodivergent & Proud 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. AI Detects Autism and ADHD in 15 Minutes — Because Who Has Time for Doctors Anymore? By: Dr. NeuroTik Tok, PhD (Honorary, self-issued) Move over stethoscope.  Move over Freud.  Move over that one school counselor who said you had “gifted potential” while you were licking a doorknob.  Because here comes the future of neurodevelopmental diagnosis — and it’s wearing a sensor-glove that sees your inner dysfunction before your mother even does. In a breakthrough so fast it might actually beat your attention span, researchers from Indiana University School of Medicine have developed an artificial intelligence (AI) tool that can detect ADHD and autism in just 15 minutes with a 70% accuracy rate — which is...

  🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50%. Satire: 50%. Vibes: 100% Auditory Discomfort Where eye contact is the final frontier. And Gen Z is already through it. 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. The Gen Z Stare:  No blinking. No smiling. Just pure digital judgment, and possibly emotional terrorism. By: Madison Flux, WTF Social Trends Analyst & Eye Contact Avoidance Coach With special contributions from our emoji-illiterate boomer correspondent, Glen July 2025 | Zooming In So Hard We Can See Your Eye Roll Pixels They don’t blink. They don’t speak. They don’t nod. They just stare — blankly. Intensely. Soul-meltingly. Welcome to 2025. Trump is president again. TikTok has replaced therapy. And Gen Z has weaponized facial neutrality into the most devastating form of psychological warfare since the silent treatment at a suburban Thanksgiving dinner. This is the Gen Z...