THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES

🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Sacred Lies & Secret Fries Religion, Rib Rackets & the Curious Case of Invisible Buffalo in Tasmania By: Sausage-Shamed Skeptic at Large ** This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it or halal inspectors start playing bacon roulette. Of Buffalo Lies and Holy Burgers So there I was in a sleepy suburb, munching a suspiciously affordable beef biryani in a local Indian joint. The owner? A turbaned, tikka-smeared man who smiled like he personally domesticated every animal in the Mahabharata. I raised an eyebrow. "Isn’t beef taboo for you?" He grinned like Krishna about to pull a prank: "No sir! Buffalo. Not cow. Totally legal." Now, I’m no zoologist, but I’m reasonably sure Tasmania doesn't have buffalo herds roaming its eucalyptus forests. Unless they’ve been airlifted under cover of night in sacred cargo planes. Ye...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Churned, Burned & Buttered Rome’s Dairy Disdain vs. India’s Holy Cow Cosmology By: The Lactose-Intolerant Prophet of Dairy Doom 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. Or unless Caesar tweets “#NoButterForBarbarians.” Welcome to the Creamy Conquest of Civilizations Butter: golden, glistening, gloriously fattening. For ancient Rome, though, it was the edible equivalent of wearing Crocs to a Senate debate. The Romans sneered at it, called it barbaric, and reserved its use for burns, bruises, and the occasional foot fungus. Because apparently, rubbing it on your face was civilized—eating it was not. Meanwhile, thousands of miles to the east, in ancient India, people were worshipping the stuff. This is the story of how one half of the ancient world churned butter into holiness, while the other threw it in the compos...