THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Bombastic, Baffling & Bizarre Since 1948 Hamas Thanks Canada, UK, and France For Their Support—Sends Gift Basket of Explosives and Hypocrisy By: Fatah Morgana | Senior Correspondent for Terror Tourism & Western Diplomatic Masochism 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. Then it’s open season on acronyms. Diplomacy Goes Full Delusion: Hamas Credits Mass Murder for Statehood Vibes If you’ve ever seen someone commit arson, then ask the fire department to reward them with a beachfront property, congratulations: You understand the logic of the 2025 Western diplomatic brain fog. On Saturday, Ghazi Hamad , senior Hamas goblin and professional war criminal, told Al Jazeera—with a straight face no less—that Canada, the UK, and France’s plans to recognize a Palestinian state were thanks to the massacre Hamas orchestr...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Starved, Screamed & Sanctioned Recognize THIS,  Carney ! By: Mullah Buzzfeed al-Bibi, Senior Fellow of Disbelief & Dark Humor 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it… again. The Two-State Delusion Hits New Lows — Now with Bonus Starvation Porn! In the latest episode of International Cognitive Dissonance: Deluxe Edition , Canada, the UK, and France—three countries with thriving Starbucks diplomacy—have boldly declared their moral superiority by recognizing a Palestinian state… one day after Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad released two emaciated Israeli hostages on video, looking like they’d just survived a North Korean juice cleanse in a medieval dungeon. Rom Braslavski and Evyatar David, both kidnapped during Hamas’ October 7, 2023 rave-turned-raid, were paraded like haunted scarecrows on terrorist T...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Cloak, Dagger & Diplomatic Biryani When Tehran plays James Bond, dissidents disappear and journalists start sleeping in IKEA closets By: Imam Bond & Chutzpah Chatterjee | Senior Editors, Espionage, Satire & Sabotage 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless Khamenei starts subtweeting Mossad again. From Belgium to Birmingham, Tehran’s new travel package offers “one-way tickets to Evin Prison.” Add in Trump, TikTok terror alerts, and Israel’s disappearing embassies — and you’ve got a WTF stew only 2025 could cook. WHEN DIPLOMATIC PASSPORTS MEET DEATH SQUADS In what sounds like a rejected Jack Ryan episode, Iran has been accused by 14 countries — led by the United States under President Trump — of deploying hitmen, smugglers, and glorified Uber drivers to kidnap and kill exiled journalists, politicians, Jews, feminists, TikTok influencers, an...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: “We’re still checking” Canada recognizes Palestinian state, Trump recognizes Canada’s mistake By: The Bureau of Highly Unfiltered Diplomatic Dramedy 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. OTTAWA-JERUSALEM-TRUMPLANDIA — In a moment that stunned global diplomats, confused Israeli hawks, and mildly amused Hamas spokesmen on Telegram, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney declared that Canada would officially recognize a Palestinian state this September at the United Nations General Assembly. In response, U.S. President Donald Trump took to Truth Social faster than he can say “trade deficit,” warning that such behavior from America’s hat-wearing neighbor would make it “very difficult” for the United States to ink a new trade deal with Canada. “You want maple syrup? You’ll get molasses,” one senior White House source mumble...