THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES

  🗳️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: RAW Intelligence Meets Bollywood Melodrama Circumcised for the cause, betrayed by bureaucracy. The true, tragic, totally WTF tale of Ravinder Kaushik. By: Tigerbaaba Singh, Chief Field Correspondent for Spies Who Didn’t Come Back 🖊️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it... or RAW files its expenses in verse. The Spy Who Came In From the Stage Before he was Pakistan's Major Nabi Ahmed Shakir, he was just Ravinder Kaushik, a boy from Sri Ganganagar, Rajasthan. He mimicked politicians for fun, wrote Urdu couplets on the side, and had no idea that his thespian skills would land him in the hall of Indian espionage legends... and then rot him in a Pakistani jail with no exit strategy. In 1973, he joined RAW. By 1975, he wasn't just playing a role—he was the role. He became Muslim, got circumcised, learned fluent Urdu, graduated in ...

🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Sacred Lies & Secret Fries Religion, Rib Rackets & the Curious Case of Invisible Buffalo in Tasmania By: Sausage-Shamed Skeptic at Large ** This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it or halal inspectors start playing bacon roulette. Of Buffalo Lies and Holy Burgers So there I was in a sleepy suburb, munching a suspiciously affordable beef biryani in a local Indian joint. The owner? A turbaned, tikka-smeared man who smiled like he personally domesticated every animal in the Mahabharata. I raised an eyebrow. "Isn’t beef taboo for you?" He grinned like Krishna about to pull a prank: "No sir! Buffalo. Not cow. Totally legal." Now, I’m no zoologist, but I’m reasonably sure Tasmania doesn't have buffalo herds roaming its eucalyptus forests. Unless they’ve been airlifted under cover of night in sacred cargo planes. Ye...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Churned, Burned & Buttered Rome’s Dairy Disdain vs. India’s Holy Cow Cosmology By: The Lactose-Intolerant Prophet of Dairy Doom 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. Or unless Caesar tweets “#NoButterForBarbarians.” Welcome to the Creamy Conquest of Civilizations Butter: golden, glistening, gloriously fattening. For ancient Rome, though, it was the edible equivalent of wearing Crocs to a Senate debate. The Romans sneered at it, called it barbaric, and reserved its use for burns, bruises, and the occasional foot fungus. Because apparently, rubbing it on your face was civilized—eating it was not. Meanwhile, thousands of miles to the east, in ancient India, people were worshipping the stuff. This is the story of how one half of the ancient world churned butter into holiness, while the other threw it in the compos...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Holy Ghosted by Greek Manuscripts How the Most Theologically Important Sentence in Christian History Got Yeeted by Modern Translators By: Father FlatEarthius & Sister Mary Apocrypha, Holy See of WTF Affairs 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it—or the Pope edits the Gospel with AI. Paging Dr. Trinity... You’ve Been Canceled For over 1,500 years, a certain verse in the Bible looked like it was crafted by the ghostwriters of the Nicene Creed after downing a few too many communion wines.  We’re talking about 1 John 5:7–8 , aka the Johannine Comma —an alleged one-line smoking gun for the doctrine of the Holy Trinity , beloved by councils, popes, televangelists, and the “Jesus is God in a three-piece combo meal” crowd. But here’s the plot twist: That verse is fake. It was not in the original Greek. It was no...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Like Moses, but with Wi-Fi issues and a historical grudge 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. Did Jesus Get a Spiritual Head Start by Editing John’s Exit? Welcome to the Gospel Multiverse. By: Barabbas B. Dactyl, Freelance Scroll Forger (WTF Accredited) WTF? Once upon a dusty decade in Roman-occupied Judea, two desert-dwelling dudes emerged with wild eyes, unruly beards, and a shared passion for shouting near rivers. One ate locusts. The other turned water into Merlot. One got decapitated. The other got crucified. But here’s the kicker:  Was John the Baptist actually killed after Jesus? That’s the juicy plot twist historians and gospel skeptics are gossiping about in every dusty blog comment thread from Galilee to Gainesville. And the answer, like all great theological debates, involves dodgy dates, dramat...

 🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50%  | Vibes: Historical Buffer Zone 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky . Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. When History Meets Realpolitik: Why a Legendary Conqueror Is Now a Political Hot Potato By: Hamza “History Buff” Kapoor In a stunning twist worthy of Netflix’s next big docudrama, Pakistan’s Defense Minister Khawaja Muhammad Asif recently declared that Mahmud of Ghazni—long lionized as a great Islamic invader—is “merely a plunderer.” This seismic shift isn’t because of a sudden burst of moral clarity or a left-wing rethink, but because of a shifting spiritual-political tectonic shift between Pakistan and Afghanistan.  Welcome to history being weaponized, contested, recrafted—and it’s absolutely wild. The Afghan-Pakistani Ghost of Ghazni Once upon a dusty battlefield, Mahmud of Ghazni terrorized then-future Pakistan’s regions—and India—with his...