🌍🕌🔥TURKEY TROLLS INDIA AGAIN OVER KASHMIR - AND ERDOĞAN’S OTTOMAN REVIVAL FANTASY JUST GOT A GEO-PATCH UPDATE...
🗞️THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES™
By: Prof. Jalebi Qureshiullah-Bottomsley, Senior Editor for Eurasian Melodrama, Neo-Ottoman Nostalgia & South Asian Facepalms
WHEN TURKEY’S FOREIGN MINISTRY THINKS ABOUT KASHMIR BEFORE THINKING ABOUT ITS OWN INFLATION
In most countries, national budgets address trivial concerns like:
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crumbling infrastructure
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national debt
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inflation
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unemployment
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failing hospitals
In Turkey, however, the Foreign Ministry prepares its annual plan by pondering Kashmir like it’s a mandatory chapter in a diplomatic sun salutation.
On 18 November, Turkish Foreign Minister Hakan Fidan essentially said:
This aligns perfectly with the now-ritualistic stance of President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, who has spoken about Kashmir at almost every UN session since 2019 — sometimes more passionately than Pakistan itself, which is usually busy livestreaming AI missile tests from imaginary warships.
Because Erdoğan is attempting something far bigger, far stranger, and far more ambitious:
He wants to speedrun “Leadership of the Islamic World,” Ottoman Edition.
And his three-player co-op party seems to be:
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Turkey (Ambition, Air Miles, Drones)
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Pakistan (Narrative Amplifier, AI Navy, Memes)
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Bangladesh (post-2024) (New Radical Networks, Diyanet Access, Covert Ideological Nodes)
Welcome to the Axis of Not Quite Evil But Definitely Extra™.
ERDOĞAN’S OTTOMAN-COSPLAY FOREIGN POLICY: FROM ANKARA TO THE UMMAH EXPRESS
Let’s clarify something upfront:
Modern Turkey is a secular republic.
Modern Erdoğanism is a historical roleplay server.
Under Erdoğan’s AKP era:
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Ottoman symbolism has been revived
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Turkey positions itself as protector of the Ummah
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Diyanet’s budget went from modest to Marvel-level
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Turkish diplomacy expanded to 252 global missions
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Ankara began projecting itself as the only plausible successor to the Caliphate-era leadership
Inside Erdoğan’s head, the story is simple:
The Muslim world needs a leader. Saudi Arabia is too cautious.
Iran is too Shia.
Pakistan is too broke.
Therefore… Turkey.
It’s the geopolitical equivalent of someone announcing themselves as team captain while everyone else is still tying their shoelaces.
DIYANET: TURKEY’S “MINISTRY OF GLOBAL IMAMS” MAKES ITS MOVE
Diyanet used to be a domestic religious body.
Diyanet now:
Bangladesh, post-August 2024 coup, has become Diyanet’s favourite playground, with:
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direct access to Islamist networks
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madrasa pipeline influence
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JeI proximity
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new Turkish-backed NGOs
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political re-engineering via soft power
India is watching this like a hawk wearing Ray-Bans.
BANGLADESH 2024–25: HOW TURKEY FOUND ITS NEW “EASTERN FRONTLINE PARTNER”
After the Hasina government fell, Dhaka’s interim regime opened all diplomatic windows for Ankara.
Turkey enthusiastically jumped in like a Black Friday shopper.
Turkish influence suddenly includes:
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political support
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radical group engagement
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charitable networks
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diaspora mobilisation
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military training
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and questionable ideological exports
A Turkish delegation allegedly met Bangladesh’s most radical groups in July 2025.
Maps of “Greater Bangladesh” circulated by Dhaka’s fringe groups show:
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Arakan State
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Bihar
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Jharkhand
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Odisha
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AND India’s entire Northeast
THE DELHI BLAST AND THE “ANKARA-PESHAWAR SIGNAL”
Indian investigators found:
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two masterminds
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dozens of cross-border calls
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suspicious Bangladesh-Turkey-Pakistan triangulation
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alleged “Ukasa,” an Ankara-based handler
This is not amateur mobilisation — this is a structured geo-ideological pipeline.
THE TURKEY–PAKISTAN–BANGLADESH STRATEGIC WEB (WITH DRONES, CORVETTES & A LOT OF NARRATIVE WORK)
Pakistan:
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Turkish drones
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Turkish corvettes
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Turkish training
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and a missile narrative ecosystem powered by AI and enthusiasm
Bangladesh:
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TRG-300 rocket systems
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TB2 drones
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armoured vehicles
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Tulpar light tanks
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two upcoming Turkish-backed defence complexes
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thousands of Bangladeshi personnel trained in Turkey
Turkey:
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Gains two loyal geopolitical clients
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Advances influence into South Asia
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Undercuts Saudi Arabia’s theological monopoly
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Expands its defence exports
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Builds soft-power spheres
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Pushes itself as the voice of global Islam
INDIA’S VIEW: “WE SEE YOU. ALL OF YOU.”
From India’s perspective:
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Turkey’s Kashmir commentary
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Pakistan’s amplification
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Bangladesh’s radical swing
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Diyanet’s expansion
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Turkish weapons everywhere
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diaspora mobilisation
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foreign clerical influence
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ideological pipelines
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questionable maps
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covert communication networks
…form a triad that cannot be ignored.
It’s not a military threat.
It’s an ecosystem threat.
An ideological tripod.
A soft-power siege engine.
And India understands the long game better than almost any other state in Asia.
WHY ERDOĞAN WON’T BECOME “THE LEADER OF THE MUSLIM WORLD,” AT LEAST NOT FULLY
Despite all his theatrics, three major forces limit Erdoğan’s ambitions:
1. The Middle East doesn’t trust him
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Saudi Arabia sees him as a rival
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UAE sees him as a destabiliser
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Egypt sees him as a Brotherhood patron
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Iran sees him as a competitor for influence
2. Turkey’s secular establishment internally resists
A large chunk of Turkey does NOT want:
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pan-Islamic activism
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Ottoman nostalgia policymaking
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ideological export
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Caliphate symbolism
Erdogan may lead, but the country is not fully behind him.
3. Turkey’s economic problems are exploding
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inflation
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currency devaluation
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poverty rise
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foreign-currency debt
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shrinking tourism
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brain drain
TRUMP COMMENTS - EXCLUSIVE WTF SEGMENT
In keeping with our editorial tradition, President Trump (2025 edition) reacted to Turkey’s Kashmir commentary:
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“I like Erdogan. Great guy. Strong guy. Maybe too strong. Very strong. Very talkative about Kashmir.”
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“Nobody knows Kashmir better than me. I’ve seen maps. Great maps. Tremendous maps.”
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“Turkey talking about Kashmir is like Canada talking about the Moon. Beautiful, but what?”
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“If Erdogan wants to lead the whole Islamic world, that’s fine. I led the entire world once. Very stressful. Too many meetings.”
We at WTF Global Times thank the White House stenographer for surviving this.
TOP COMMENT PICKS FROM OUR READERS
FINAL THOUGHT
In geopolitics, ambition is admirable.
But ambition without economic gravity becomes theatre.
And ambition without regional consent becomes noise.
Turkey’s attempt to lead the Islamic world reflects:
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Soft-power expansion
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Strategic opportunism
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Neo-Ottoman nostalgia
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Ideological positioning
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And the search for legacy
But the Muslim world is too fragmented, too diverse, too politically contradictory to accept a single leader - especially one whose own economy is burning like a kebab left unattended.
And in 2025, nobody seems ready to confer it.
NEXT WEEK ON THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES™
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“Pakistan’s AI Navy: Build a Fleet from Blender Templates!”
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“China, Thailand & Trump: ASEAN’s New Triangle of Mild Confusion”
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“Why Indian Diplomats Carry Extra Aspirin to Every UN Session Involving Turkey”
Survive weird. Thrive freaky. Stay tuned to The WTF Global Times - because when nations roleplay as Empires, the world becomes a cosmic sitcom.
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