THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES

🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Classified Inside a former diplomat’s explosive account of institutional capture, disappearing cases, disappearing people - and the disappearing line between myth and machinery. By: Prof. Quilliam Quibblethorpe,  Senior Editor for Geopolitical Ghost Stories & Bureaucratic Horror,  The WTF Global Times 👁️‍🗨️ DISCLAIMERS, LIKE ADULTS DO*** All descriptions of actions, motives, or networks are based on the claims and perspectives of the interviewed former official , as reported in publicly available news. WTF Global Times is a satirical, analytical outlet - we investigate narratives, not pronounce verdicts. ***(ACTUALLY, WTF-GT WAS WARNED BY CIA!) 👁️‍🗨️ This blog uses WTF strictly in the context of Weird, True & Freaky - not profanity… unless someone in Brussels starts subtweeting us. THE ACCUSER:   AMINUSL HOQUE POLASH Bangladesh’s former intelligence officer and diplomat  THE ACCUSED:   DR. YUN...

🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: 100% Mayhem When your national cyber defense is defeated by a phishing email offering 70% discount on Komodo Dragon Sneakers. By: Professor Dholu Dhamaka , Senior Editor for Cross-Border Mischief & Mild Panic Dr. Ping-Pong Varma , Chief Analyst for Satire-Enhanced Intelligence Failures Lt. Col. “Shhh” Subramaniam (Retd.) , Director of Suspicious Silence Studies 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky - not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it… then all bets are off. THE FULL BLASTED MAYHEM EDITION Let it be known: 2025 will be remembered as the year China claimed India launched a botanical cyber-apocalypse. According to China’s state media, three devastating hacker groups stalk Asia like over-caffeinated cyber ninjas: Evil Flower Lure of Beauty Ghost War Elephants   Yes, you read that correctly. Even Marvel wouldn’t pitch names like these. B...

🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Side-Effects: Potentially Permanent | Mayhem: Guaranteed Skinny Jabs, Fat Problems: As Millions Inject Themselves Slimmer, Dentists, Gut Doctors, and Orthopaedic Surgeons Casually Walk Into A Bar And Exit Screaming By: Dr. Bertram "Side-Effect" Sludge , Senior Correspondent for Pharmacological Chaos & Accidental Comedy, WTF Global Times 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it… then all linguistic negotiations collapse. Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone googling “Ozempic side effects help dear God,” welcome to yet another episode of Humanity Invents Something Useful And Immediately Misuses It Until It Backfires . Across the UK and increasingly the world, millions are leaping onto Ozempic, Wegovy, and Mounjaro — the Holy Trinity of “I want to lose weight but also want dessert.” Originally designed for diabetes management, ...

🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Quantum-Unstable Neuroscientists Find “God Spot” in the Brain; Organized Religion Files for Emotional Bankruptcy. By:   Dr. Cortex Q. Quibblethorpe , Senior Editor for Neuro-Spiritual Nuisances & Metaphysical Mayhem With additional chaos by:   Sister Synapse of the Holy Default Mode Network 👁️‍🗨️ This blog uses WTF strictly in the sense of:  Weird, True & Freaky .  Not as profanity. Unless world leaders start live-tweeting it… then all bets are off. 1. BREAKING: GOD FOUND. LOCATION: BETWEEN YOUR EARS. In a development that has ruined several sermons and three mega-church PowerPoints, scientists have quietly confirmed what many suspected: Religious experiences are measurably happening in the brain - in patterns across the temporal lobes, limbic circuitry, and social-cognition networks. That warm, tingling “God is near” moment? That sense of a loving presence in prayer? That certainty that yo...