🍇The Fruits of October 7...
🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES
News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Bombastic, Baffling & Bizarre Since 1948
Hamas Thanks Canada, UK, and France For Their Support—Sends Gift Basket of Explosives and Hypocrisy
By: Fatah Morgana | Senior Correspondent for Terror Tourism & Western Diplomatic Masochism
👁️🗨️This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. Then it’s open season on acronyms.
Diplomacy Goes Full Delusion: Hamas Credits Mass Murder for Statehood Vibes
If you’ve ever seen someone commit arson, then ask the fire department to reward them with a beachfront property, congratulations: You understand the logic of the 2025 Western diplomatic brain fog.
On Saturday, Ghazi Hamad, senior Hamas goblin and professional war criminal, told Al Jazeera—with a straight face no less—that Canada, the UK, and France’s plans to recognize a Palestinian state were thanks to the massacre Hamas orchestrated on October 7, 2023.
“These are the fruits of October 7, habibi,” said Hamad, likely while gnawing on the last fruit roll-up from an UNRWA aid package.
Canada: From Maple Syrup to Martyrdom Diplomacy
In what can only be described as an act of self-inflicted moose trauma, Canadian PM Mark Carney announced Canada would support Palestinian statehood at the upcoming U.N. General Assembly in September.
This from the same country that once blacklisted Hamas, mourned the death of Iranian terrorist Qassem Soleimani, and gave a standing ovation to a literal Nazi.
Carney’s logic? Something like:
“Sure, Hamas burned Israeli children alive, but maybe if we offer them a flag, a state, and a taxpayer-funded embassy, they’ll finally calm down.”
UK: Keir Starmer Does... Whatever France Is Doing
New UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer, who came into office after Rishi Sunak was last seen disappearing into a hedge like Homer Simpson, joined the recognition parade.
The official statement read:
“We believe recognizing Palestine is a step toward peace. Also, don’t ask us about October 7, we were very busy at the pub.”
This from the same country that banned plastic forks but is now shaking hands with terrorist enablers. Colonialism may be dead, but colonial guilt is now a foreign policy.
France: Macron’s Mango-Soaked Madness
Emmanuel Macron, still nursing trauma from being booed at a baguette factory last year, announced that France too would support a Palestinian state “in principle.”
Meanwhile, the French interior ministry warned that Hamas flags still violate national terror laws—but statehood? Totally chic.
Funny Trump Comments (Live From Golf Cart One)
“Let me tell you, folks. Hamas kills babies. Canada sends flowers. I send Tomahawks. Big difference.”
“You don’t reward terrorists with a state. That’s like giving Hunter Biden a crack pipe-shaped Medal of Honor.”
“Mark Carney is a disaster. Macron is a joke. Starmer? Sounds like a rejected Harry Potter name.”
“If I’m President—and I am, by the way—we don’t play games. We send love to Israel and lawyers to the UN.”
Meanwhile, In Gaza...
Two Israeli hostages—Rom Braslavski and Evyatar David—appeared in a propaganda video this week, frail, tortured, and visibly malnourished after 664 days in captivity.
The global reaction?
Silence from those now praising the “fruits” of terror.
Apparently, starving Jews doesn’t register as a human rights violation anymore—unless you can also blame climate change and colonialism in the same sentence.
Hamas’s Thank-You Card to Canada, UK, and France
According to Hamas sources (and by sources, we mean Al Jazeera with a Hamas accent filter), the organization has mailed a handwritten thank-you card to Ottawa, London, and Paris.
Excerpts include:
“Merci for ignoring our war crimes.”
“Please enjoy this commemorative suicide vest, made in Rafah.”
“If you liked October 7, wait till you see our Fall Collection!”
Top Comment Picks
@ZionismZaddy69: “So killing Jews is now an effective statehood application. Cool. Totally normal.”
@ShariaLawDude: “France couldn’t protect Charlie Hebdo but thinks they can midwife Hamas into a democracy?”
@MapleSyrupIsDead: “Carney just gave Hamas the keys to a state. I’d rather give my toddler the nuclear codes.”
@FreeGazaFromHamas: “Palestinians deserve a future. But not through mass murder. Not like this.”
@GhaziGrapeGuy: “The fruits of October 7 are war crimes, hostage videos, and European hypocrisy. Bon appétit!”
Final Thought
And yet… here we are.
The West—led by guilt, incompetence, and moral amnesia—is rewarding terror in real time, while Israeli families bury empty coffins and hope that their sons and daughters aren’t being filmed again for someone’s TikTok jihad.
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