👁️️Holy Silk Sarees! Kanchipuram Tops India’s Cheating Charts...
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Infidelity Edition
By: G-String George | Special Correspondent, Morality & Mayhem
KANCHIPURAM, TAMIL NADU — In a plot twist spicier than a Chettinad curry and messier than a Nayanthara family WhatsApp group, the town of Kanchipuram has clinched the gold medal for marital mischief, topping the June 2025 national rankings on Ashley Madison’s adultery index.
Yes, you read that right. The city renowned for silk sarees, temples, and vedic sanctity has quietly become the Las Vegas of Infidelity—South Indian edition. While most towns boast temples and tiffins, Kanchipuram now boasts the highest number of active profiles on the global cheating platform.
Silk. Sambar. Sidepiece?
Kanchipuram's transformation from cultural heritage site to "carnal heritage site" has shocked everyone, including marriage counselors, priests, and silk weavers. In 2024, it ranked 17th in Ashley Madison activity. In 2025, it’s Number One. That’s not just a spike, that’s a full-blown Thiruvizha of Thirst.
Experts are baffled. "Perhaps it's the heat, or the pandemic hangover, or maybe there's just too much turmeric in the water," said a sociologist from Chennai who wished to remain anonymous for fear of being ghosted by her own husband.
Metro Blues: Delhi Districts Beg to Compete
Delhi’s districts showed up like drunk uncles at a wedding—numerous, noisy, and slightly embarrassing. Central Delhi placed second, while South West Delhi, East Delhi, and even Noida made the top 20. Meanwhile, Mumbai was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, Bollywood is monogamous now. Who knew?
But it wasn’t just Delhi-NCR. Jaipur, Raigarh, Kamrup, and Chandigarh also made significant appearances. Ghaziabad, that eternal backbencher of Delhi, finally had its moment of glory—not in literacy or infrastructure, but in emotional demolitions.
Ashley Madison used not just signups but also "engagement metrics," which is Silicon Valley code for "Who's texting whom, how often, and with how many emojis."
India Leads in Love... With Other People
India and Brazil now lead the world in admitted infidelity, according to an April YouGov survey commissioned by Ashley Madison. A staggering 53% of Indian respondents admitted to having an affair. That’s more than the voter turnout in Tamil Nadu last year.
"India is leading the way in redefining modern relationships," said Paul Keable, Ashley Madison's Chief Strategy Officer, sounding both euphoric and mildly scandalized. "It’s no longer about till death do us part. It’s more like till data plan expires."
Indeed, the growing acceptance of non-monogamy has stunned traditionalists and delighted therapists. Marriage is beginning to look less like a lifetime commitment and more like a three-month trial with no auto-renew.
A Sociological Silk Slip
Why Kanchipuram? Why now? Some experts cite economic growth, mobile internet, and better literacy. Others point to TikTok, or the crushing boredom of joint-family living. One frustrated husband anonymously told us, "I downloaded the app thinking it was a saree shopping site. Then... well, things escalated."
Kanchipuram's temple priests, meanwhile, are holding emergency yagnas and bhajans to spiritually counteract the digital debauchery.
"Lord Shiva had many wives," one senior pujari nervously noted. "But this? This is app-based anarchy."
Funny Trump Comments
"I heard Kanchipuram is number one in cheating. Folks, it used to be New York! India is winning so much, they might even beat me. Not fair. And I'm not even married to Melania anymore—we're spiritually cohabitating. Very advanced."
"Ashley Madison, great company. Some of my best friends are on it. Tremendous people. But I told them, if you’re going to cheat, at least build a golf course while you're doing it."
Top Comment Picks:
@Anbu_Affairs: "Finally, Kanchipuram is trending for something other than wedding sarees."
@ShaadiSeSad: "I joined for research. Still waiting to be contacted. Even in sin, I’m ignored."
@MissBehaved: "Can someone explain to my mother-in-law why I suddenly want to relocate to Tamil Nadu?"
@DelhiDrifter: "Plot twist: Central Delhi is cheating with Kanchipuram."
Final Thought:
As India digitalizes its economy, education, and even spirituality, it's no surprise that extramarital escapades have found their own app-based revolution. But while Kanchipuram may now top charts for cheating, perhaps the real takeaway is this: we need better conversations about love, desire, and boredom.
Or maybe we just need fewer silk saree expos.
Next Week on WTF Global Times:
"Horny and the Holy: How Bhajan Mandals Are Accidentally Becoming Flirting Hotspots"
Stay tuned.
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