✈️ THE MAN WHO LIVED: WHY HIM?!...
🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES
News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Somewhere Between Miracle and Mid-Air Mayhem
👁️🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it — then we’re definitely upgrading to profane.
The Crash Heard Round the Bhagavad Gita
Flight 171A was supposed to be boring. It was supposed to be a sleepy red-eye out of Delhi with stale peanuts and crying babies, the kind of trip that ends in jet lag and passive-aggressive immigration officers. Instead, it belly-flopped into the dirt with the drama of a Shakespearean meteor.
Of the 242 passengers onboard, only one survived.
His name: Vishwas Kumar Ramesh.
A British national. A spiritual seeker fresh from Haridwar. A guy who probably missed his chai that morning. His brother Ajay, seated five rows behind him, didn’t make it. But Vishwas? Vishwas literally walked out of the smoking wreckage like he had just lost his luggage—not 241 other human souls.
His first move?
He FaceTimed his mom.
Yes. FaceTimed. Covered in soot, half of India in flames behind him, and this man had the clarity to swipe up and unlock video call. The audacity is biblical.
“I don’t know how I’m still alive,” he said.
Honestly? Neither do we. Neither does NASA. Or God.
The WTF of Solitary Survival
Every now and then, Earth glitches. A nuke hits and someone survives. A plane crashes, and one confused soul gets spat out like a winning lottery ticket. The universe, in its chaotic generosity, allows a chosen few to walk away.
These aren’t miracles. These are plot holes. Cosmic typos. Divine misclicks.
Meet the club:
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Bahia Bakari, age 14. Fell into the Indian Ocean. Couldn’t swim. Floated for 12 hours.
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Juliane Koepcke, lightning struck, fell 10,000 feet, crashed into the Amazon, walked out. Ate candy for a week.
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Cecilia Cichan, 4 years old. Plane crash. Upside down. Still alive. Became a walking Reddit thread.
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Tsutomu Yamaguchi, survived Hiroshima. Then Nagasaki. Didn’t die. Lived to tell kids to recycle.
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Franjo Selak, survived train crash, plane crash, car crash, got hit by a bus, fell off a cliff, then won the lottery.
Now add Vishwas.
SCIENCE TRIES TO EXPLAIN, THEN TAKES A NAP
Crash scientists love their equations: impact vectors, survivability zones, seat proximity to exits. But when Vishwas strolled out of that burning coffin like he was late for yoga, even the experts blinked.
Some theories floated:
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He was seated near an exit — Sure, and so were three others. They’re not FaceTiming anyone.
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Light body frame and flexibility — Okay, gymnast logic.
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Karma — That’s not peer-reviewed.
One psychologist just shrugged and said, “Maybe fate was drunk.”
TRUMP COMMENTS: Live from Mar-a-Lago
“That Indian guy? Incredible. I like survivors. I like people who don’t die in plane crashes, okay? We’re sending him a golden MAGA seatbelt.”
“Nobody survives better than Americans, but this guy — Vishwas — he’s second-best. Maybe third. Fantastic shampoo name, too.”
“We need him for FAA. Literally teach crash courses. That’s a joke. I made it up myself. Tremendous joke.”
Welcome to the Existential Crisis Club
So, you survived. Now what?
You’ve been gifted what philosophers call “continued consciousness,” and what your auntie calls “divine interference.” You now exist in a blurry in-between: neither chosen nor rejected. Not dead, but disturbingly not normal.
You’re now:
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A miracle to Instagram
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A myth to your village aunties
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A statistical insult to the other 241 passengers
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A potential Netflix docuseries
THE POST-SURVIVAL FLOWCHART
Stage 1 – Denial: “Is this purgatory? Why is the nurse wearing Crocs?”
Stage 2 – Guilt: “Ajay deserved it more. He donated to orphans.”
Stage 3 – Media Frenzy: “CNN, BBC, and BuzzFeed want exclusive interviews. And a podcast titled ‘Flaming Seats, Frozen Hearts.’”
Stage 4 – Existential Dread: “Am I real? What if I’m VishwasGPT?”
Stage 5 – Monetization: “Limited edition mugs: ‘I Survived Flight 171A — And All I Got Was This Existential Crisis.’”
RELIGIONS RESPOND (Usefully? Questionably.)
Hinduism: “Your karma is incomplete. Your dharma is calling. Also, your astrological chart now glows in the dark.”
Christianity: “The Lord has a plan. It probably involves book deals.”
Islam: “Inshallah. Submit to Allah. And maybe open a trauma clinic.”
Taoism: “Life flows like a river. Yours just happened to dodge a waterfall.”
UFO Cults: “You were saved for the Intergalactic Tribunal. We accept PayPal.”
Judaism: “Now come inside, have soup, and talk to someone. Preferably a therapist.”
TOP COMMENT PICKS
@ZenAndTheArtOfCrying: “I once survived a breakup and a rollercoaster derailment. One still haunts me. The other had cotton candy.”
@TrumpLandsSafely: “Trump fell off a golf cart once. Landed on a cheeseburger. He says it counts.”
@ExistentialLatte: “Every day I wake up and survive a 9-to-5 job. Where’s my Netflix deal?”
@WokeAstrologer: “Vishwas must be Pisces. Only Pisces survive statistically impossible cosmic nonsense.”
@FrequentFlyerFails: “Just changed my seat from 33B to 17A. Vishwas-proofing my travel plan.”
FINAL THOUGHT
Survival isn’t clarity. It’s confusion with a heartbeat.
The world will call you lucky. Sacred. Proof of something larger. But the truth?
You’re a living typo in the script of fate.
And fate doesn’t explain itself.
So embrace the weird. Hug the freaky. And remind people: you didn’t ask to survive. You just happened to still be here. So you’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll sign a book deal. Maybe even run for Parliament.
But no matter what...
You. Are. A. WTF.
NEXT WEEK ON WTF GLOBAL TIMES:
“The Captain Who Didn’t Sink With His Ship: A Love Story Between Cowardice and Capitalism”
“Alien Insurance Fraud: Why You Can’t Sue Extraterrestrials for Anal Probing”
“The Vatican, a Lightning Strike, and That Time the Pope’s Hat Caught Fire (Allegedly)”
“Reincarnation Customer Service: Why You Got Reborn as a Cat With IBS”
“DNA Roulette: Why You Got Gout and Vishwas Got God Mode”
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