THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES

🗞 ️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Economically Weaponized Why Bombing Iran Is Actually About Containing China (And Everyone's Pretending It's Not) When Your Enemy's Oil Bill Becomes Your Strategic Asset, and the Strait of Hormuz Is the World's Most Expensive Traffic Jam By:   Baron Petrodollar von Chokepoint, Senior Correspondent for Economic Warfare & Part-Time OPEC Whisperer With contributions from:   Dr. Silk Road al-Beijing, Analyst of Energy Geopolitics and the Art of Making Your Enemy Pay More for Gas Dexter Barrelman, Global Energy Correspondent & Amateur Strait-of-Hormuz Traffic Controller Mei “Macro” Panic, Senior Fellow in Strategic Overthinking and Oil Futures Astrology 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. Or if someone tries to weaponize gasoline prices. Then we might need to reconsider the definition of economic te...

🗞️ THE WTF GLOBAL TIMES News: 50% | Satire: 50% | Vibes: Radioactively Anxious Iran's Nuclear Hide-and-Seek: When 60% Enrichment Meets 100% Denial The IAEA Finally Found Where Iran Hid Its Uranium, Iran Covered It With Bricks, and Everyone Pretends This Isn't a Game of Nuclear Whac-A-Mole By: Dr. Uranium von Hideaway, Senior Correspondent for Buried Secrets & Part-Time Satellite Image Interpreter With contributions from: Inspector Gadget al-IAEA, Analyst of Underground Mysteries and the Art of Hiding Things From Space 👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it. Or if someone tries to enrich uranium in their basement. Then we might need to call someone. THE DAY THE CATAGUARD FINALLY FOUND THE NUCLEAR MOUSE Let's start with the most important number you need to know today. Sixty. Not ninety. Not fifty. Sixty. Because sixty percent enrichment is the number that makes diplomat...